On my way to and from work, I am forced to listen to the radio. I don't have a CD player in my car, and it's really hard to get reception for an mp3 transmitter in the city. So I listen to the radio. Most of the time, if something crappy comes on, I can just change it to one of my other presets, but sometimes all my presets are crappy and I'm forced to listen to crap.
I would like to attest to the fact that one of the crappiest "bands" out there is "Hollywood Undead". I've pondered over the last couple days, having heard their "music" on several occasions, what is was that annoyed me so much about them; and then it hit me! This group has the lyrical stylings of a bunch of fifth graders in an English class learning about rhyme scheme and verse meter. Their lyrics rarely, if ever, break from an abab rhyme scheme, and the majority of the lines have the feeling of being composed of iambic feet (I'm a bit rusty so I'm not going to say for sure). Making it worse is the fact that whoever composed these lyric is so barely literate, that words with more than 1 syllable are scarcely heard. It's mind-numbing. If you don't believe me, the proof is in the pudding:
I see the children in the rain
Like the parade before the pain
I see the love I see the hate
I see this world that we can make
I see the life I see the sky
Give it all to see you fly
Yes we wave this flag of hatred
But you`re the ones who made it
Watch the beauty of all our lives
Passing right before my eyes
I hear the hate in all your words
All the words to make us hurt.
We get . so sick we`re so sick
We never wanted all this
Medication for the kids with no reason to live.
Sorry I forced you to bear witness to that.
And yes, I just did go all English major on their asses. Gotta use that degree for something.
I'm not done griping though, yet! You're next Starbucks.
The other day before work, I was quite hungry, and unfortunately out of appropriate breakfast items which i could eat at my desk. I stopped by Starbucks after I got off the expressway because it's right there on my way to work, and much less likely to make me feel bad about myself than the Burger King down the street. I got an iced green tea (unsweetened, I don't know why people have to taint everything with sugar) and a turkey bacon breakfast sandwich. It was tasty, and I enjoyed it regardless of the fact that I had just read the article comparing the sandwiches to airline food.
This is not what I had a problem with. Apparently, the folks at Starbucks are still trying different (and as of late, not extremely successful) new products to bring in a larger clientele (aka massive amounts of dollas) and are offering an instant coffee granule mess (dubbed via). While handing my my sandwich, the girl at the drive-thru window thrust a couple sample packets at me, which I rather unwillingly was forced to take.
I should have known better, but for the sake of trying it. And it was horrible. The granules leave a muddy layer at the bottom of the cup. The liquid (I refuse to call this 'coffee') itself has an unnatural murkiness to is as well, and frankly if someone told me they actually liked it, I would have to be inclined to think they don't know their ass from their elbow.
And one more thing while I'm on a roll here, phone etiquette for the love of all that is holy. I really wish people would have some manners and quit behaving like they were born in a barn, amongst other things. It's work related, rather than cell phone related, but how can you not laugh at this picture?!
I bring to you the three things that make my skin crawl the most at work:
1)Heavy breathers.
Dude, I do not know what you're doing on the other end of the line, and from what it sounds like, I most likely do NOT want to know. Yes, you are giving me money for a service, but I am not an adult line operator, and I do not enjoy being spoken to as if I was one. Additionally, I don't know what kind of business you own, but if you are in the phone sex industry, don't talk to me like you're on the job either.
2)Chewing
I really don't care if you're calling me on your lunch break; maybe you shouldn't be because the sound of you masticating is rude and makes me want to throw up in my mouth. When you're chewing in my ear, all I can picture is slack jawed open mouth chewing and the inside looking like a cement mixer; perhaps you look like a cow chewing cud. I don't know, but it's wrong of you to make me picture these things. Also, if you say, "Sorry, I'm chewing," that doesn't make it okay for you to swallow, take another bite, and keep doing it. I really hope you get a cheesy cracker crumb lodged just right in your throat so you have to drop the phone and run and get a glass of water to dislodge it. Because, praise the lord, that means I don't have to keep talking to you. Didn't your mama teach you any manners?
3)Wet talkers
In their defense, I do know that it's not their fault, and there's really not anything they can do about it, but it's still icky. These are the people that you can just hear the saliva in their mouth clinging to their top and bottom jaws making those phlegmy spit strings that you can see when they talk. That just made me shudder, writing that.
I feel much better after that rant.
Food related post to follow later.
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